The Irony Of Life

I barely had an idea that i would fall in love when i first saw Prem on a beautiful summer morning in G. He wore a babypink slimfit shirt over his jeans and a cap and--- a smile to die for.

I was there attending a marriage and i think the atmosphere plays a great role in making you fall for someone. The various little functions that they have and our small interactions between them told me that he was a close friend of my relative's family at S. in G., had given his 12th boards the same year, loved dancing, and had two younger sisters. Then on the day of the marriage, came the moment-- he complemeted me with agesture of his and as they say--
we never forget those who make us blush-- I had actually blushed for the first time in my life and this was the time i feel i had started falling for him. He also gave me a red rose (casually) afterwards which i was stupid to refuse(I advice all of u never to refuse a red rose by a cute boy like Prem, you would regret it later ;) ) We became good friends and i was so glad when i learnt that we had our birthdays with a gap of jst one day. He called up almost regularly and i had loads to tell him but somehow could say nothing while talking to him.

The same year i entered college and quickly found a best friend in Nisha. and then slowly in Michelle.-- they kind of completed my life and i felt blessed and i knew this was the best year of my life.

But, now i think I am too quick to judge people and too easily rejoice over things. Because that was'nt the best year of my life in the sense that I found people who meant to me more than anything in the world(then). It was the best year of my life because I learnt life n saw the darker sides of it too.

Eight months after i met Prem, I proposed to him and eight months later he told me that he loved me too! One may think that it might have been the best moment of my life but not after you have learnt that the second eight months period was like HELL for me. My SO-CALLED-BEST-FRIEND-Nisha.- was flirting with MY-LOVE-Prem, and she told me that its "me" that they were talking about. Prem told me that Nisha is not a nice girl and still kept contact with her. And I was off to vacationing thinking all the time about HIM and visiting different malls to find the best birthday gift i can for HER. Like a pendulum my faith oscillated between the two and then after a series of discoveries it rested on Prem. And after all the mental torture of sixteen months i got peace only for three months when Prem. used to talk sweet things to me( He asked me a couple of times if I was mad, and I would say,--Yes, I am mad.MAD ABOUT HIM.) After which I found that he was still in contact with the girl who had taught me to ACTUALLY HATE!!

The last time I called him up I was not sneaking out, rather it was in front of Nisha. with other students listening into everything I was saying.I was told that i over-react and that I was at fault for introducing her to him. Also i was told to go to HELL and never call back. What hurt me the most was not the THINGS THAT HE TOLD, rather THE WAY HE TOLD THEM. He was shouting and i could not bear that and it scared me and i cried for the next few days. May be i over-react at times , but am sure i made a mistake being friends with Nisha., and a greater mistake introducing her to him. But then, i never knew, ANYTHING AS BAD AS BACKSTABBING AND A BETRAYAL WOULD HAPPEN TO ME. I am living in HELL and have never called him up. Its he who has called up all the times, whenever we have talked after that, but nothing is as it was before.

FAITH-- IT GROWS ONLY WHEN YOU USE IT. This quote sounds beautiful, right?? But when i read it, I was like--" Huh?? Do they know my story?" What happened to MY FAITH? I used it more than ever in my life for the first time and now i dont have FAITH ON FAITH. I have learnt about irony at college, but LIFE IS THE BIGGEST IRONY one can ever learn.

Two most important people--- I DONT WANT to talk to one, and I CANNOT talk to another. One has taught me to HATE, and another to LOVE. Both have played on with me in their own ways, but still there is a difference of feelings towards them. Dunno why? I hate HER for doing so and will always have that grudge against her. But HIM, I cant hate him. But I dont like him either. I still respect him as a person. He was truthful in a sense that i still dont understand and he knew me in a way-- i over-react. expect too much, and am a bit mad too.

I know love is a beautiful feeling but i dont want to experience it any more (may be because i wont be able to love anyone in the same manner again). I know i cant live without a friend to share my feelings with but at the same time i dont want to confide in anyone now(except Michelle, she's been on my side all the time and will always be). Anyways, after all said and done, I have learnt many things and i have grown wiser. I have learnt two things that in spite of all odds LIFE GOES ON and that LIFE ITSELF TEACHES LIFE.